Thread:Arvee100smart/@comment-6069990-20140523010301/@comment-6069990-20140523050036

Okay, me honest :P

The first part, the intro reads great, its just flow nicely. But when it comes to the 2nd part, the Supposed  Fated Meeting, it flows nicely at first, but then, the characters keep bumping into each other? Lol, what the? It gets confusing when trying to figure out that its another characters' monologue, instead of just Natsu's.

Maybe you just want to keep the suspense/mysterious feeling by telling like that, but it does tend to get confused..umm..and who's that blue man?

Anyway, on overall, good grammar and plot you have there, albeit with some minor spelling, but that can be forgiven :P. Wondering why you're not doing the summaries for Baka...but no pressure on that xD